Yep, you guessed it...
and two steps back...
It wouldn't be a real adoption journey if it didn't have a few potholes...
Last night after we put Mia and Melissa to bed, Mia kept sneaking out of the room and going to Mark and Sarah's room. So Jim laid down on the couch until the girls where asleep.
The next morning seemed fine until Mia took Marks phone and left our rooms. She went far down the hall and hid, then called the orphanage or someone? We looked all over for her and found her as she was just ending her phone call.
We were not happy that she took Mark's phone and
went fairly far away without telling us and called without our permission.
We took the phone away and made it clear it was a big NO.
We are now banning the Iphones and Ipads. The new children were becomiong too dependent on them to fill the time and were always asking to use them. They buried themselves in the electronics.
NO MORE!
Then later in the morning Mia started to say unkind things about us(Momma and Babba) to her new little sister. Melissa was agreeing and things just seemed to be going in the wrong direction. Sarah over heard her and told us. We know that Mia has many feelings and confusing thoughts and we understand that BUT it is not okay to influence her younger sister(and soon to be sisters) in such a negative way. We kind of saw it coming but had hoped it was going to stop. It started out with Mia telling Melissa to say simple things- like I want ice cream or I have to go to the bathroom but then we sensed it was moving onto other areas- such as telling someone how to feel or think and then onto doing naughty things. Melissa was no longer holding my hand and smiling back at me.
I know I could be super mature and ignore it but I really am not okay with this direction so we are separating the two girls a little bit. Sarah told Mia she cannot do that in Chinese. Then she told them that Mom and Dad are nice.
We are beginning to revert back to some of the techniques we used with our other adoptions.
We feel that we need to before things get out of control and a 10 yr old begins to run the family.
These techniques have served us well with our other adoptions and it was obviously time to implement them.
So, what do we do-
We insist on respect. Please and thank you's. If they cannot say them they do not get what they want.
(Mia missed out on gum and coke because she refused to say thank you- in Chinese that is)
Holding hands WITH the parents when crossing streets and near traffic, etc. We are also holding Melissa's hand more and more to bring her close to us. She sits on my lap in the taxi (not Mark or Sarah's ). I sit next to Mia all the time. She can no longer hide next to Mark. Babba and Momma sit in the middle of the table with the children around us.
Mia needs to walk with us- not ahead or behind.
No electronics (yep- except for Hubby because of work and me when I blog ;-) We need to learn to hang out together and communicate as best we can.
They loved feeding the giraffes!
Today we went to Safari Park. It was fun but also a bit of a time filler because of our tough morning. Mark enjoyed it- so I am glad he was able to see it.
Most of Mia's progress will probably be made at home on our own turf. For now we are doing what we can to keep the peace and establish our roles (kind of).
Today is Gotcha Day for Madeline!!
AT 2:00 we will meet her!
Yippppeee!! So excited to meet our sweet daughter!!
AT 2:00 we will meet her!
Yippppeee!! So excited to meet our sweet daughter!!
Please say prayers that it goes well with Madeline! AND that Mia can begin to open her heart to having parents and that God will direct us in all that we do!
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