Summer Stuff, Abby Update and VBS

 I am so sorry it has been so long since I posted.

So much is happening here at our home with wedding prep and graduation party prep along with every day life! Which is actually quite full as I am sure you all know!!

We are asking for more prayers for Abby. She had a liver MRI and the results were discouraging.

Her liver is still FULL of iron. There has been no change since 4.5 months ago when we started the chelation process.

My heart sunk when I heard the news.

We were so hoping that her liver iron level would go down.

Next is a liver and bone marrow biopsy.

That will be done in July.

Praying and praying for some good news...

When we go in for her transfusions we bring a different sibling each time!

The other kids are excited to see where she what we do when we go in for a transfusion. Abby is excited to share in the fun with a sib and it makes her feel special!

We watch TV, watch movies, color, play with playdoh, read books, have a snack, eat lunch and play on the ipad!

Thank you God for making it a joyful experience!

We came home to children enjoying the summer weather and making the best of the heat!

Water is just so much fun!

Here is our version of a swimming pool!

Hey, it works!!

Last week the children went to vacation bible school!

It is a highlight of their summer!

Emma and Ellie were in different classes and it worked out great!!

The children there were very nice and helpful to Emma! Ellie was able to meet some new kids!

Ava and Anna attended a first grade class together!

Sam and Abby were in the kindergarten class together!

Sarah is the first "S" in Jesus!

Next year Luke gets to go and Sarah becomes a helper/ volunteer!

I look forward to our two new girls being able to attend!

We are still working on the names and will post on that soon!!

Hope you are enjoying your summer!

Summer Fun Begins

The other week our local police department hosted a Public Safety Day for the entire community. The highlight of the day, besides for getting to explore all the different police/fire vehicles, is the Kiddie Police Academy. My son is at the age where his dream jobs are to be a: fireman, police man, paramedic and construction worker so this was a perfect way to spend the afternoon. Not to worry, my daughter had a great time too.

First they had to go through an obstacle course (didn't get any pictures of that unfortunately). Then they learned CPR.

Next activity was to get a description of a suspect from an officer and draw a police sketch. It was so cute to see their completed drawings and how different they were from each other.

Then they had boot camp and practiced their push-ups and sit-ups.

The cadets from the academy were really running most of the activities and they looked like they were having as much fun as all the kids were! Here they are chasing after a "bad guy" and then snapping hand-cuffs on him before leading him to "jail."

Last up was practice at the "shooting range" where they had to throw balls into a box. My son is actually a pretty good shot! When they completed all their activities, they got a special certificate.

There were a bunch of booths from different agencies like the FBI and local government offices giving out freebies so you can't go wrong there! :-) Outside they had all sorts of cool emergency vehicles, police horses and dogs, and helicopters, but this bomb robot was my favorite.

The summer has gotten off to a great start and we are all enjoying the more relaxed, lazy days. The kids are in day camp and loving it and my office has changed to "summer schedule" so what could be better?!

How are you spending your summer? Any vacations coming up?

Dual Adoption

You will not find any scientific data or studies in this post.

It is purely my opinion based from our experience.

Which after doing 3 dual adoptions we definitely have experience!

And now we are doing it again!

Yay God!

Our first dual adoption were bio sibs- so I'm not sure if that officially counts as dual BUT there were two kids coming home!

Many families feel so comfortable bringing home one child. 

That is wonderful!

And that is right for them.

I would never want to say otherwise.

We just need to all work together to get families for the orphans!

whether it is one at time, two at a time or sibling groups!

BUT

for us, 

bringing home two at a time has been awesome!

We were so excited about bringing home sisters and thought is was such a perfect situation.

We are thankful the girls were not split up but at the same time it brought challenges that surprised us.

Emma and Ellie had their "roles", their expectations of each other and their baggage.  Instead of starting fresh and being able to redefine themselves in their new family they came with preconceived ideas of each other.

Their own little hierarchy.

Emma gave Ellie her food whenever Ellie wanted it, even though Emma was starving and Ellie was plump.

Emma protected her sister but Ellie did not protect Emma.

Emma was a lower class citizen, she was not just an orphan she was a mentally retarded orphan and she had no worth. The sad thing is even her sister who loved her more than anyone else also saw her this way.

Ellie was also cognitively disabled, speech disabled and most likely suffered at the hands of others also.

But in her life their was one person lower than her,

her sister Emma.

When we met them we were shocked. I expected to see two girls close together, talking between themselves and sticking together through thick and thin.

Instead we saw them practically run over each other trying to be the first to get love, acceptance and attention. It was heart breaking. 

Ellie wanted to be labeled the good child therefor Emma was expected to have the label of the bad child.

During much of our time in China they strived to fulfill their self given roles.

It was a very challenging time.

Because of their speech and cognitive disabilities they did not converse between each other at all.

Once we got home we had to undo all of this in order to redo healthy, happy, valued and equal roles within the new family.

There was no loyalty, no camaraderie, no consideration for the other- it was every man for himself.

Since that is not the way our large family works we needed to show them that we can love and accept both of them not one or the other. 

Once home Ellie was surprised to see that we were kind, loving and positive towards Emma. Ellie didn't know what to do about it and I think she was a bit threatened.

The girls would have fights in the closet. Ellie would be hitting Emma and Emma would be struggling verbally to defend herself.

If Ellie was having a bad day she would secretly take it out on Emma.

Ellie was NOT a bad kid. She just didn't know how to cope with the changing roles and dynamics around her.

(the girls don't fight like this now)

At the same time Ellie saw that she could trust us because we were nice to the one person that no one else has ever been nice too- Emma.

Quickly they could see that this was a good place to be.

So here were two children that knew each other and we being adopted together. It worked but it was challenging. 

They did have an underlying love for each other, a familiarity with each other- a comfort level because they were bio sibs.

We have never adopted 2 children from the same orphanage that already knew each other but were NOT related. I have heard of others that have and they have had their challenges.

In that situation the two children would not have a previous love towards each other. They would enter a family knowing of each other but never considering each other as family.

In one case a family brought home the bully and the victim. They had no way of knowing the orphanage dynamics before bringing the children home.

Is this bad?

No, but it makes for greater challenges.

I believe that anything can be overcome through prayer, love, hard work and more prayer.

Here is my thoughts on adopting two children from the same orphanage-

If the children are in the same orphanage and not sibs they do not have an underlying love for one another.

They have never loved this person before and now they are expected to love them?

They have a hierarchy where one is higher than the other. They live in a world of survival not love. These roles are with them and if they bring part of their past with them they do not leave other parts easily.They will take this to their new family and they will expect it to be this way in their new family.

Of course I think they can relearn new behavior and new family rules just like our children have, but it is challenging and takes time.

Some families are blessed to adopt friends or children that had a special loving relationship within the orphanage or foster home!

I would love to hear others who have had this experience!

Now onto adopting two children from different orphans-

WE LOVE IT!

We are amazed each time... that would be twice.

We will let you know if we are amazed again because our two children coming home this time are also from different orphanages.

The positives-

They come to us without preconceived notions regarding the other child. (Such as they are stupid, the stink due to incontinence, they can't- walk-club foot, they were in the bad room of the orphanage, nobody like them, etc)

They come to us without their spot in the hierarchy of the orphanage. They are not the lowest or the highest still trying to fulfill their old role.

They come wanting to be loved and to be part of a family without needing to step on someone else to get there. 

It's the fresh start the deserve!

They know that the other child is just as scared as they are but they also know they are not alone in this journey. There is another child with them that speaks their language and looks more like them than their new parents.

The language of play and laughter help them to adjust.

We play and laugh with them BUT we are not 5 or 7 or 11 years old so they immediately start to form a bond with the new sib.

This journey is so so scary- everything is changing in their lives and they are not the only one going through it- their new sib is too. 

This other person speaks the same language as they do- unlike their new parents. It's an instant bond.

And yes, they begin to bond to their new sib before bonding to us. 

But their new sib does not have the food, the money, the clothes, they do not protect them or provide for them like their new parent does, so they begin to bond to us too.

We always make sure that all food, gifts and clothes come from either Mom or Dad. 

All child cares are done by us for bonding until they can or want to do them themselves.

They see the other child accepting us so they do too. If at first one child pulls away and doesn't want to be close to us the other one sees the opportunity for love and acceptance so they seize the moment of opportuntiy. The next one comes around soon after!

There is less time for them to be frightened and to dwell on their fears and their preferences. Instead they are experiencing their new life with less fear and apprehension.

Old stereotypes are no longer with them. It no longer matters who or who did not like them in the orphanage. They start to get positive feedback, they like it and they want more!

Do they bicker - yes they do. In fact they will give it to one another in Chinese- it's pretty funny!

Do they compete - yes they do, a little but we watch it closely. I also don't mind if they compete a little to be "good"or to obey.

Are they jealous of each other? I have seen moments of this (the evil eye being given) but they seem to get over it quickly.

The negatives of dual adoption-

It is more expensive. Two orphanage fees, two agency adoption fees and extra plane ticket home, etc

It's an inconvenience- more suitcases, more backpacks, more prep at home, etc

It's emotionally draining (as all adoptions are whether it goes smoothly or their are bumps in the road) but now their are two children's needs that have to be fulfilled.

Your stay in China will be longer. You may have to go to 2 different provinces to meet your children before going on to GZ. You are away from your family at home for a longer period of time.

My own biased is this...

Why can't we help one more child

and then one more turns into

one more and so on!

We feel called by God to bring the children home and will do so until we hear or see God redirect us differently. Until He says we are done, until doors close and He shows us another way to serve HIM.

Does it matter of there are 3 or 4 children in the bedroom?

Does it matter if we have to squish together at the kitchen counter just a little bit more, or share bikes, or share clothes, or take turns with toys, so one more child can have a family?

God is not asking much from us. He is just asking that we care for his children. We can do that!

Bringing home two just feels so right, so natural to us!

It doesn't mean others have too. It just works for us.

Blessings on your journey whether it is for one, for two or for more!

Praise God!!

(Pics are from the children playing outside after a rain and Sarah going to horse day camp!)

Painted Front Door Reveal

Now for the long-delayed follow-up to the original door painting post! I forgot to mention previously, the the last two steps I took before the actual painting was wiping the door down with a tack cloth (man, are those things sticky!) and using a liquid deglosser as a final step to making the door ready to paint (much easier and cleaner than actually sanding).

The painting took most of one whole Sunday. I used Behr Premium Plus Ultra (paint + primer in one) so I knew I would have better coverage than using regular paint, but I was not still not super-impressed with the coverage, more on that later.

I would have loved to replace all the hardware on the door since with some Oil Rubbed Bronze ones but it was not in the plans for now. The door knocker screw is painted over on the other side so I couldn't take it off and I was too nervous to spray paint it all. You can see that the originals are weathered and discolored.

I have seen many bloggers use Rub n Buff so I thought that might be a good temporary solution to freshen up the brassy color. It took me a few minutes, but then I got the hang of it. I squeezed some out onto a paper towel and just rubbed it around everywhere until it was looking nice and shiny. Again, gold would not have been my first choice, but since the locks were already that color I was definitely the budget-friendly color to choose.

Here's the full view from the inside. I love the burst of color when the door is open!

And here is the door from the outside. I think the color really pops off the red bricks. From the outside there's gold door fixtures, nickel storm door fixtures and ORB light and mailbox. Color overload anyone? In due time we'll change them to be consistent throughout.

Here's a full house view.

Just to remind you, here's the house with the old white dingy door.

Major improvement!!

I didn't intend for this to turn into a product review and I'm certainly not getting perked for anything, but I just wanted to share two things with you. First, Purdy paint brushes are a-ma-zing! I left the paintbrush in the paint tray wrapped in a plastic bag for over a week because I was too lazy to clean it up after spending all day painting. I was really nervous that the paint would be caked on and I'd have to throw away the brush, but every last bit of paint washed out. I was so happy!! This is the paint brush after sitting over a week in dried out red paint. I don't know if it was because it was wrapped in plastic or a combination of it being an amazing brush, but either way I am very pleased.

Now for the paint on the other hand... I paid a little more money to get the paint and primer in one because Behr claims that it has superior coverage and stain blocking.

Uh, not so much. This is after four coats of paint: You can still see scuff marks towards the bottom of the door. I think they are mostly from knocking the stroller tires into the door, but I was disappointed that four coats of paint did not cover them. I ended up doing 6 coats in certain areas and you can still seem them if you're looking. I was surprised because we've always used Behr paint and have never had a problem before so I don't know what happened this time around. Just wanted to give you all a heads-up about that.

So tell me what you've been up to! What brands of exterior pant have you had luck with? Anyone else have neighbors comment on their door colors?

Linking up here:
Home Stories A2Z | Remodelaholic | Serenity Now | Thrifty Decor Chick |

All About Luke!

Many of you have followed Luke's story for a long time.

Ever since we was a tiny baby and very fragile with a serious heart defect. 

You have prayed for him and witnessed God's miracles as he was sent to Israel and had life saving surgery! 

And there may be a special family out there who may be particularly interested in his progress.

So I thought an "all about Luke" post was in order!

This little guy has been home 6 months!

When we met him in China our guide said "this is your Momma!"

Luke took one look at me and shook his head "NO, no she's not my Momma..."

Poor little guy- why on earth would he think I was his Momma?

It was so cute!

Three times while we were in China he walked up to a Chinese person and said (in Chinese)

"Can you help me find my Momma and Babba? They live in Beijing."

It was hysterically funny and heartbreaking at the same time.

He was stoic and trying to be strong while in China. We could tell he liked us but everything was changing and it was so confusing to him.

Having Sarah with us and adopting Abby at the same time was a big help. It was a distraction from his stress and made for great playtime and laughter!

One of the many reasons why we love adopting two at a time!

THAT WILL BE ANOTHER POST!

Luke is kind of like Anna. He goes to the beat of a different drummer. He doesn't always like to follow the crowd but he is fine with it IF it's what he wants to do.

He loves the doggies and spent the first 3 months amazed by them. Now they are just part of the family like everyone else. Ava is our other dog lover!

Luke's favorites sibs are Sarah and Ava (who he calls Era). He loves Sam too but the two boys are very different.

He has the biggest challenges with Emma and Abby. I think he is confused with Emma seeming bigger but unable to do the things older children do. Abby and Luke sometimes get into a bit of a tussle - they both want to boss each other around and not listen to the other one.

Luke LOVES all the older sibs and they adore him!

They enjoy his sense of humor. He has a wonderful wit about him! 

He can get along with younger and older people.

Whenever they come home he runs to the front door calling their name and gives them a big hug!

Luke had heart surgery after being home 3 months.

Before surgery he had good coloring but a limited activity level.

He would attempt to run 1, 2, 3 steps and then stop.

He would stop at the bottom of the steps and look to us... then say "carry" with his arms up.

He could walk about 30 feet and then want to be carried again.

Now, 3 months post op...

He is running and 

running and 

running!

He is climbing!

He is jumping!

He is pedaling!

Did I mention that he is running!

And when he is done running he says

"I'm Fast!"

And honestly...

he is getting faster!

Heart babies do not focus on learning milestones. The focus on surviving.

Right now Luke is learning to make his bed, put on clothes and trying to brush his teeth.


He's pants are no longer falling down! He still has a tiny butt however other muscles are now developing. He has thigh muscles and a smaller tummy.
He weighs 32 lbs and is 37.5 inches tall! He has gained 3 lbs and has grown 1.5 inches in the last 6 months!
He is still in the 3 % as far as the growth charts but he is making nice progress!

Ava was trying to teach him how to make his bed!

She is very patient and he worked very hard!

He was quite proud of his accomplishment!

And so were we!

(in this pic Luke and Sam got their buzz light year PJ bottoms mixed up!

Luke is wearing 5T and Sam was wearing the 3T's!)

Luke is still in diapers- he is doing his business successfully in the toilet both the little one and the big one!
After the wedding we will be focusing on potty training!
Beware big boy those diapers are going bye bye!

Luke started swim lessons. He loves loves loves water... preferably to play in! 

Swimming was all new to him!

The first time we took him to the pool we realized we needed to help him get physically stronger.

If his head went under water he could not lift it up. If he was on his back he had a very hard time rolling over and "righting" himself.

I have always said that through adoption we have witnessed God's miracles right in our own home!

It happens again and again and each time it is just as amazing!

Once again we see how God is working in Luke's life!

He is healing him. He is strengthening him.

He is bonding us as a family.

He is teaching him!

While in China, Luke seemed to be able to speak the language and get his point across.

He no longer speaks Chinese as far as we know. Although if someone spoke to him he may be able to understand.

At this point I think it would be upsetting and confusing to him.

We are starting Sarah, Ava, Sam and Anna in Chinese language classes this fall. Anna never actually spoke Chinese BUT she seems to have an aptitude for it.

I am guessing it will be the same for Luke.

Luke's vocabulary is expanding and he can say 5 word sentences. Sometimes he is quite hard to understand but he always gets his point across and he is absolutely adorable when he talks!

There are some sounds he is unable to produce so we are starting him in speech in July.

He will also be doing OT to help him with his small motor skills such as holding a pencil, coloring, putting his clothes on and off, etc 

He had his 3 yr old well child check up this week and had a few necessary immunizations.

He did so well! Whimpered a little but no real tears!

Once Luke got home he went straight to the cardiologist. It feels so good to finally have his "well child check up" done!

There were a few 3 yr old milestones that we ned to still work on such as balancing on one foot.

He tried so hard in the DR office and almost did it!

Once we got home he practiced a couple times and whoola- he can do it!

We think with time he will catch up and most likely excel at many things!

This fall he will start preschool two afternoons a week!

We are still homeschooling but I am feeling like a preschool experience will be so good for him!

I love christian preschool!  I love what they teach!  

And it will be nice for him to have some time with kids his size and age!

I also believe that when educating the new adoptees it is important to start at the beginning - that would be preschool!

We have done it with all of our new children(no matter what age they are when they come home) and they are progressing nicely.

I will be doing preschool activities with Emma, Abby and Luke during part of the morning.

Luke does not like it when he wants something and we say no.

He freezes in his spot, won't look at us and is really in shock that we are not giving him what he wants. To him his request is completely reasonable!

If we ignore him he will soon get over it and come back and join us.

He has a tiny little naughty streak. We don't see it often BUT it's there!

If he wants a toy he has no problem taking it and voicing his opinion when someone tries to take it back. In fact he is quite shocked when someone takes it back.

In the end if he does not get what he wants it's completely unfair!

This where Abby and Luke have their squabbles. Even though Abby is not the second youngest, maturity wise she is... so they sometime go at it over a toy, a sitting spot or bossing each other around!

Luke has a more gentle spirit. He is not really a physical boy although he is capable of hitting a sister when I am not around. Usually he is pretty peaceful and very nice to have in the home and to be with.

He likes to do puzzles, color, look at books, play dublos, play with cars and be outside. 

When he is outside he likes to explore, ride his tricycle and where his shark bike helmet.

He seems to be quite tactile and loves soap when he washes his hands, playing in the dirt or sand, playing in the sink, playing with playdoh, and touching different textures.

He loves to be read to and especially loves interactive books!

He knows his colors and can count to 10! We are working on counting to 20!

He likes to play on the ipad but it doesn't happen often in our house!

(There is a long line for turns whenever it's out- but he always asks for his turn! So he does advocate for himself, which is good in a big family!)

He is beginning to sing some songs. Old McDonalds farm is a favorite and a hoot to listen too!

Luke does not have the best singing voice... and I'm being kind saying it this way ;-)

So... he fits right in!

None of us can sing!

He has been asking about his birthday (it's in November).

It was celebrated in China right before he came home in December.

Poor guy has to wait a long time for his first b-day at home.

Sorry honey- I know unfair!

I know there is so much more to say but for now this is all I can think of.

Luke is a perfect blessing from God and we are so grateful to have him home!

Praise God!