Follow The Leader!

As each day goes by we continue to move in the right direction.

Both Abby and Luke are beginning to become so much a part of our family.

As a mom, I can tell, when I hug them they fit into my body. The awkwardness is leaving and with each day we are becoming mother and child/ father and child. It is a very nice feeling!

These days have come with some challenges and much prayer as appointment after appointment we move forward to figure out our children's health mysteries. Once again GOD does not disappoint - but instead guides us each step of the way!

Yesterday was exhausting... I brought Abby in for an ECHO, blood draw and an appointment with her hematologist (and possible transfusion). Each time we go she will most likely need a transfusion but we need to wait for the labs. They will not give her a transfusion unless is is completely necessary due to her iron overload. At this point we are figuring every 3 weeks.

After each appointment we went to - she was so happy... she thought she was done and she could return home.

AND then each time we made our way to a new office, her expression changed to sullen AND then serious. 

Once she found out she was having ANOTHER transfusion she cried and cried and cried. It was so so sad... 

Her cry was so full of hopelessness... 

My heart broke...

We had a interpreter this time and she was wonderful. She told us that Abby kept saying over and over again - "I just want to go home with Momma and Babba..."

The interpreter had tears in her eyes...

We were at the appointment from 1:00- 9:00 and when it was over we were completely emotionally exhausted...  WEll, let me rephrase that, I was exhausted and of course, Abby felt great after a transfusion!

Each time we go the Dr and her staff are wonderful BUT next time they ask me "What can we do for you?" 

 I will say, just get us "in and out" of here, asap!

I have been praying a lot lately- whether it is planned or unplanned, it is just happening ALL the time. 

God is so good and so kind, I know he is ALWAYS with us, through thick and thin.

For the last three nights, I have heard messages that were so right on- so from our heavenly FATHER.

Last night I prayed and the Lord said- "Follow the Leader"

Dear Friends... who do you follow? Do you follow God or your neighbors advice. Friends and neighbors are wonderful and often give great advice BUT please take your questions one step further, to HIM. 

HE will answer!

Is there an area in your life that you need clear direction on?

Is there a decision you need to make today?

Well,

then,

Follow Your Leader!

He will lead you down paths of righteousness and peace! He will not disappoint! He will guide you every step of the way and NOT leave you!

The next morning, I woke up with peace. I know God has a plan and I need to put all my trust in HIM!

WE( our family) NEEDS TO FOLLOW OUR LEADER!

"So you see God is with us. He is your leader."

2 Chronicles 13:12

This and That!

I had a venting post all ready to go BUT I just can't post it. It was about how money talks and it just creeps me out- If we pay our bill a little late people are rude. If we pay early or on time they love us.


 Seriously- how can some people be so judgmental and shallow...

We were in Cincy 3x in November and then off to China for 3 weeks- I know it doesn't excuse anything but why should people jump to a conclusion and think the worst, just because a bill is not paid exactly on time...

Shouldn't people be treated respectfully no matter what??

Okay, I will stop there or I may just as well post my other post...

I like to think positively, be positive, be a problem solver NOT part of the problem!

This month and most likely next are going to be filled with medical appointments! I am so thankful to God that one by one they are falling into place! 

God is so good and so kind and I am just so grateful to HIM!!
He can handle this crazy scheduling need of ours!

We have been home for for 3 weeks and things are really falling into place. Luke is becoming more and more our son and it feels so good! He is so good natured and has an adorable sense of humor! He calls me Momma all the time and I love it! He knows all the younger children's names and many of the older kids, too! He is saying many many words in English and seems to understand everything we say!! (He had an American Foster family at his baby foster home). He is so interested in everything and repeats anything we ask him to repeat. He is very excited about the potty chairs distributed through out the house but not so sure he has any intentions of using them ;-).

We are waiting for our potty movies and books to arrive and then maybe in February we will start potty immersion! Sorry- that's a lot of potty talk but hey that's our life!!

Abby is doing well, too. After her transfusions she is chipper and alert but as the days go by our dear girl is more on survival mode and learning or repeating words are not high on her priority list. Tomorrow we will find out what her 23 day Hgb is and she will have an ECHO of her heart.

God has blessed us in MN with unseasonably warm weather so far!

(others may call it global warming BUT I call it a blessing!) 

The children searched and found the only existing patch of snow in our little neighborhood.

They have loved playing outside everyday and I have loved how easy it has been to get them in and out of the car, the store, the appointment, etc!

Cold weather is on it's way and reality that it actually is winter will hit us soon!

In fact, I think this Wednesday is the day ;-(

For now we are thankful for the outside time we have had!

Ellie has been so kind and helpful to her new little sister and brother!

Feeling Blessed!

Wow, what a day!

People p78

What a day we had Friday!
An article about our lifestyle came out in People magazine and we went live with solar! The solar installation looks great (although you can't actually even see the panels from the street). The process was flawless, and the Solar City staff were super cool. We could not be happier with our decision.

Solar City managed to find parking on our street...

Wiring the converter...

Solar Panels unpacked...

and getting carried

from one roof-line to...

the next.

Panels installed on our super steep roof.

I think they forgot something... ;)

A Balancing Act

Abby and Luke are officially on our insurance. I know that is supposed to happen the minute they were ours but the insurance companies don't see it that way. They want proof, they want the adoption decree and they want the time to add them into the policy. Not everyone views adoption as all smiles and cuddly teddy bears- namely the insurance companies. 

We are so thankful for the people at Hubby's work that took the time to get the children added to our policy.

Both Abby and Luke have important test coming up and they have to be approved by the insurance company before they can happen. We were getting close to having to reschedule. Praise God the approval came in time!!

Is it just me or have things been getting a lot more difficult lately with health insurance companies?

Abby had her transfusion on Dec 20th. They did not retake the Hgb after the transfusion so we do not know what she got up to? She had one really good week and then once again her color started to change and dark circles under her eyes. 

So at the two week marker I brought her in to have it checked. 

It was at 8.2. 

For a healthy child that would be a concern but for Abby it means wait and watch her...

Wait for her respirations to go up, wait for her to look even more pale, darker circles under her eyes and her lips to lose their sweet pink tinge.

Wait for her heart rate to increase and for her heart murmer to be louder. Wait for her to need a nap during the day because she is so exhausted...

That sounds like torture to a Momma...

Part of me wants to rush in and insist on a blood transfusion- NOW.

I want her to feel good, to have her lovely olive skin tone and her precious pink lips. 

For her to want to try to speak english and hear her cute little giggle... 

BUT there is a reason for all of this...

And it makes sense BUT it doesn't make it easier...

Every time Abby gets a blood transfusion it fills her body with extra iron. The iron cannot just leave the body but is instead stored in her liver, her heart and who knows where else...

Where ever it is stored it causes damage to that organ.

Normal iron levels are around 50. 

Abby's is 4,400 as of December 20th.

That number makes my stomach turn... my head spin and I think I'll think of something else right now until we can deal with that issue...

Soooo, that is why we need to wait... until she is symptomatic...

It makes sense to me now. I don't like it, but it makes sense...

It is in her best interest (health wise) but it is hard to watch her feel worse day after day.

Just another tidbit of info. - children with excessive iron do not grow. Abby will be 6 in two weeks and she is already a half inch shorter that Anna. ( and I thought Anna was itty bitty!)

Abby has an ECHO of her heart in the afternoon of Tuesday the 10th and a Dr appt. following it.

Luke has a CT scan of his heart on the Morning of the 10th.

Praying for answers, healing and direction for both of the children.

Once we have test results in, we will know how to proceed with her care- future transfusions, possible medication and devise a plan to rid her body of the extra stored iron.

These two love bugs also have cavities galore!
(That's another post I am already working on)

We have also decided to not spend our days worrying about health issues and but to focus on enjoying our days!

Little Abby is all signed up for gymnastics on Wednesdays (she is in a younger class with Sam in the little gym), a homeschool gym class on Tuesdays and today (Friday) she will go to dance class with Ava and Anna!

As Luke gets a little older and we find out more about his slight blockage we will have him do a few activities, too. He did try to walk into Abby and Sam's class it was so cute but his momma scooped him up and held him- then we played a game on the ipad and had an clementine!

Option 2 worked well for little Luke!!

A personal view on the ideal Christmas

A few years ago, my holiday traditions consisted of the following steps.

Each year, shortly after Thanksgiving, I would kick start the season with a trip to the art supply store for fancy paper and scrap booking elements to hand-craft the best greeting card ever. The elaborate design had to out-do my previous ones; the forty duplicates would take a week to complete and had to be mailed the first week of December. My schedule also included adding Christmas lights to our existing collection and ensuring that our house out-shined all the neighbors. We would buy the tallest tree we could afford and fit on the car (given the fact that our living room had a 14 ft. ceiling), and each year I would accumulate new ornaments to decorate it. Weekends were spent shopping for gifts, and included a stop at the Dollar Store for stocking stuffers. I spent hours paper-wrapping countless presents; I planned feasts and outfits for both Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Advent was basically filled with activities aimed at psyching us up for the “big day”. Mall parking and a quest for unbeatable excellence was source of much underlying stress, extending far beyond the month of December. But I considered myself a dream-maker and worried about meeting expectations; expectations that I had created for myself, I now realize.

My holiday season no longer consists of participating in such activities or aiming for perfection… yet, I experienced the most “perfect” Christmas this year.

We opened the season with Scott using up air miles to surprise his mother with an impromptu visit (an early gift), while I stayed home with the kids, planning the “Holiday Cheer”. An afternoon of baking (eight types of cookies) went a long way. Scott brought some to work, Leo took some to a school event, and we filled jars for the kids' teachers’ gifts. But that week, I also used the cookies as treats for an afternoon cocktail with my girlfriends, a coffee hour with my walking group, a mulled-wine evening with the neighbors, and spiced-cider play dates for the kids, all through which I felt pure "Holiday Cheer". We also used the pretext of Advent to volunteer at the food bank (I discovered a real taste for the line work ;), and Leo had fun designing our family’s "Holiday Greetings" video.

We wasted no time at the mall and a week before Christmas (previously synonymous with high stress), we left for Hawaii, a trip fully funded by renting our home during the Holidays. Keeping it a surprise from the kids until departure time was the tough part.

"Public Recycling Bin" by Leo

Soon after landing on such small and pristine land surrounded by turquoise ocean, the question: ”Where is away?“ (“as the term throw“away” suggests) instantly hits you and makes you wish for speedy Zero Waste regulations and implementation, especially considering the amount of Styrofoam used on the island (a sad sight I had long forgotten). Residents can recycle cardboard, newspaper, glass containers, plastic bottles and cans at local Recycling Centers, but Zero Waste is not easy: Bulk at the local organic store was pre-packaged in plastic bags, and the farmer’s market mostly sold packaged products (in #5 containers). That said, our cloth bags (mainly for coffee, produce and loose buns) and containers (the rental’s Tupperware for buying cheese and deli) were happily accepted everywhere we went. We concentrated our efforts on buying produce (especially the great fruit! we love the rambutans!) and local products, which always offer a way to avoid packaging or at least alleviate its carbon footprint. I did not see any liquid in bulk, but fresh coconuts there provide the ultimate eco-friendly drink ;)

"Coconut Cutting" by Leo

Don’t blame me for not visiting the local landfill to investigate... On vacation, my time was carefully spent snorkeling with turtles, foraging guava fruit, zip-lining with the kids (an experience gift from grandma), barbequing with friends, drawing sunsets with Max, sharing “pupus” with the locals, blowing the conk shell at sundown, stringing popcorn and cutting out scrap paper to decorate the condo’s artificial palm tree into a Christmas tree.

On Christmas Eve, we went to mass in a small chapel. The window seals lined with candles that flickered with the flow of the ocean air,we sang carols in English, and carols in the native Hawaiian tongue. Some even danced the hula ;) At the end of the service, the power went out, and as we found our way out by candlelight, home-baked star cookies were handed out. This was a magical mass I won’t forget.

"Sunset" by Leo

For dinner, we went to a restaurant on the beach and the next morning, Max and Leo found a handful of presents in their shoes (the French substitute to stockings), none of which generated even the smallest amount of waste (just a few thrift store items), and the promise of more family activities together. We then spent the day boogie boarding in the waves and snorkeling.

I came home refreshed, grateful to have renters afford us such a lovely trip. I feel like I have taken the unbeaten, scenic detour through the holidays. Next year, I hope to able to travel the same path. The season used to feel like the slow removal of a Band-Aid. Today, it felt like a pleasant massage.

How did you do?

The Adjustment...

How are we doing? How is the adjustment going?

Well, considering we have added 6 new family members in the last 18 months...

We are doing remarkably well!

(BTW- the pics have nothing to do with the post!)

That doesn't mean we don't have our challenges...

because we do!

I originally thought Emma and Ellie were not threatened by the addition of two blessing,

But

I was wrong.

Ellie has exhibited some PTSD (post traumatic stress symptoms). Her sypmtoms are minor and usually she is just fine. Sometimes I will see a blank stare, unable to answer the simplest question (especially if it involves her doing something she is not supposed to do), her speech has gone backwards big time (she was speaking as if she had marbles in her mouth- we were so surprised). Sometimes her movements are very very slow. She will be fine soon and we  can already see improvement. (Praise God)

Emma has been a bit angry lately. It is directed at me. I can tell by the way she looks at me. She is feeling like everything is unfair and somehow she is getting the bad end of all of this- it couldn't be further from the truth. She feels this way in every area of her life- school, food, clothes, etc. It is just the way she is currently perceiving things.

I do understand and know in time things will be fine

but it has made it extra challenging. 

She has gone backwards on the progress she was making at school.
I feel like sometimes she is not even trying.

She is also giving me the completely blank look.

At times she has been defiant and will do exactly what we ask her NOT to do.

I signed the children up for a homeschool gym class but I did not put Emma in it. She is unable to move  fast and when things are happening quickly she freezes. Emma is forever 4 yrs old. She doesn't understand... that she does not understand (did ya get that!) She does not see that she is different. Others do and we made the decision for safety purposes. We also made the decision to allow Sarah and Ellie the freedom to do the things they can do!

Somehow we need to teach Emma that she is loved and valued just the way she is... I'm just not sure how to go about doing that BUT that is the goal.

Ava has shed more tears over minor things lately. 
I have made the mistake of calling Abby, Ava and Ava, Abby. BIG oops! I am sure this did not help Ava's adjustment.
Abby didn't notice a thing!

Sam has been a bit more rambunctious! He's been telling a few... untruths, lately!

He has been all about the competition and winning more than usual.

He seems to feel a little threatened. At the same time he is as gentle as can be to Luke. We can tell he is thrilled to have a little brother!

Last night the tears flowed, he finally broke down and allowed me to comfort him.

In the past when we he cried and we held him- he would cry even harder.

Seems to me this boy hasn't even been comforted when he was sad in the past.

I think he didn't even know how to handle it.

So when we comforted him it made him even more sad (because for 4.5 years no one comforted him).

I was so quietly happy that he held on to me tight and in time stopped crying!


Anna and Sarah seem to be doing great! Anna has really taken Abby under her wing! She loves having a sister her age and does not seem to be threatened by her at all... unless of course she likes her outfit better! The she may negotiate a trade with her non english speaking sister!

Our house was busy but fun over the holidays! Matt and his girlfriend Caitlin came from Colorado to visit for 4 days! They brought their doggy Mei Li!

The kids loved Mei Li!

Especially Luke- who has now overcome his love/ hate feelings for doggies- it's all love now!!

Everyone has gone home now. We loved having a houseful but it is nice to return to everyday life!

God has been so kind to give us a full everyday life!

We are back at school and attempting a routine!

I just about posted after our first day- HELP SOS!!

But thank the Lord each day is getting better and better!

Luke is a dream child! He is so mild mannered! He will repeat anything we ask him to say! He joins us for school then he plays puzzles, says hello to Sarah, plays legos, plays with shapes, colors, goes with me while I heat up my coffee and then back up the stairs, sits on my lap for awhile and then returns to playing legos - he is a JOY!

He currently has zero interest in potty training! I just bought 3 potty chairs to have all throughout the house and next we will be reading books on going potty in the big potty and maybe even some videos!

We are not going to rush the process just planting a seed right now!! ;-)

I thought this was so so creative! Roller blades on the horse! They needed 2 pair! It was Sarah's idea!! I love it!!

 Go horsey, go!

We are blessed to have these two in our family!
Matt and Caitlin! 
So happy they could come home and see us!!


We will continue to put one foot in front of the other and somehow find our "new normal"!
(I may have heard that was one of the most hated new terms of the new year!)

New Years Resolutions/ Rather Things To Do In 2012

Oh my, this list could be endless!

But here goes anyways!

Purge, clean out, clear out and organize. I have blogged about this before BUT I never actually did it! oops! It's time to get going on this right NOW!

I am hoping we will really get into a good homeschooling routine asap. The fall went great but now we have two new blessings home. I know the Lord will handle the details and everything will fall into place! Hopefully this year I will have at least 3 new readers (Anna, Ava and Ellie) and maybe even 4 (Sam) - we'll see?

2012 will be a year of bonding. Most likely it will not include a trip to China. We have brought home our blessings in record time, now we just need to give them tons of love and enjoy this marvelous time with them!

One of our family members will be moving to Europe. It's bittersweet - I will miss them but it is a wonderful opportunity to grow in courage and faith. SO, I am hoping 2012 will bring me and some other family members to Europe, also! I have never been there so it will be a welcomed adventure!

(I will post more on this when I can)

We will a lot of medical things going on this year! We need a diagnosis for Abby and a treatment plan. We need to know more about Luke's blockage and he may need surgery or a procedure. We have decided not to take Sam back to Cincy. I am sorry to the bloggy friends I was hoping to see- it looks like we will be having the surgery at home. For us this is a good choice. This is not necessarily an intricate surgery so it can be done by our local pediatric surgeons. I am very thankful to be able to stay close. I just can't see leaving Abby and Luke and the other children for 10 days. I have been gone too much lately- with 3 trips to Cincy in November and 3 weeks in China in December. 

Please say prayers for our little treasures- that God will heal them

I believe this will be a year of intense prayer. I can feel it- there will be many challenges this year- some I already know about and some only the Lord knows. I plan to stay close to HIM in prayer and by reading his word.

I also hope to "listen" better to God. Be peaceful and allow Him to speak to me and to use me to glorify HIM.

We have many things that have been left undone. Now that we are home without an adoption "in process", they need to "get done". We have to finish post adoption requirements. We need to manage things better at home - bills, schedules, appointments, money, etc.

Some of the children have photo albums and some do not- they all need them! They love to look through them and it is a documentation of their past. It's a very important for each child to have a photo album. I need to get this done for them! I also want to get gift/ photos albums off to the children's orphanages/ foster parents.

Our youngest birth child- JOhnny is going to graduate from High School this spring. I can't believe it... once again time has gone much too fast. It actually makes me teary just thinking about it.

What does not make me teary IS that he is taking his sweet time deciding! UGH! He does have a few non traditional ideas sooooo we will see what this boy ends up doing!

On top of that, our Mark is graduating from College this spring! Stay tuned for the "whats after college" segment! (A job sounds good to me!)

So I have all these plans, desires, ideas- right! Sounds like I have some direction, right...maybe! 

To be honest these are all the things I "think" I "should" do but God just has to say the word and we will change direction for HIM! Serving HIM is what is most important!

So once again we look forward to a year that will slowly be revealed by the Master!